I've been at war with myself recently. The process of churning out words is more difficult than I imagined. I'm frustrated at how often my words fail to accurately describe my thoughts. But I'm resolute in Slava Akhmechet's productivity advice. The only way to write my book is, of course, to do the work. I find myself whispering the phrase: "I am an indistractable author." It's more of an aspiration than an assertion of fact, and, as always, the gulf between saying and doing is wide.
Today I finished the introduction. I recalled the beginning of quarantine, discovering Daniel Bourke's creation over consumption, and what it means to create something. As Yash Godiwala told me, we cannot help but imbue our identities in whatever we make. Our creations are a reflection of ourselves. I think this idea is the reason I struggle to write first drafts; I can't stand the idea of writing something bad and putting it out into the world.
When I started this book-writing journey, Eric Koester encouraged us to write down our internal triggers. The idea being that if we shine the light of words on the thoughts which precede procrastination, then we'll be less likely to focus on them and more likely to continue writing.
I'm afraid this book will be of no use to anyone. I'm afraid that, because of me, this book won't realize its potential.Rajit Khanna's Mind
In my search for activities to avoid book-writing, I added a waitlist to the book homepage. I'm thinking of using this waitlist to grant early access to book pre-orders and content. Special thanks to Bani Singh at WaitlistAPI for helping me with this process.
I find that when I write for other people I'm mediocre. When I'm thinking about how other people will perceive a narrative, I lose my own inner thoughts. When I started this blog, I knew that this writing is my art. It's my way of telling the world who I am. Without it, I lose this relationship with myself. As powerful as a commitment to creation over consumption is, what I've learned is that it's really a commitment to self-understanding. When I embrace this approach, that's when my true thoughts come pouring out. That's where I find a book worth reading.